October 22, 2004

Remember the days when I used to write here,like, all the time? That was what, almost 2 years ago? So much has happened since then and this past year I haven't been much of a writer. My apologies.

Just to give everyone an update, if they care to hear (or rather, read), I am back with my husband. He put his wedding ring back on, we live together again, and we're workings things out. That sounds so simple compared to what this last year has really been like, but that's just a quick summary so you know where I stand with that. I am married, still, and it appears that I will be staying that way.

Jeb has started installing the hardwood floor on the middle level of our townhouse and it looks really nice. It's tough going so he's only done one room so far but considering he's doing it alone, that's not bad at all. Me, on the other hand, I am working all around the house on stuff. Like redecorating the bedroom. Just when I decide on a color scheme/theme, I change my mind and think we should go with something else. But then I change it again. And again. Sort of like when I was planning the wedding. If I remember correctly, I started out planning for the maids to wear deep red satin dresses from Bill Levkoff. Then they ended up in bronze/copper taffetta dresses from Lazaro. Go figure. Our bedroom is the same way. I just can't decide.

My brother Steve, who's in the Army and was in Afghanistan, got to come home for a 2 week break, but he flew back out this morning. Please keep him in your thoughts and/or prayers. The other night while we were all talking about his duty over there, he said something about the dead people and I quietly said to him, "Did you kill them?" My friend Jay, a Marine, once told me that you're not supposed to ask a service person that, but I asked anyway because I wanted to know what Steve would say. He slightly, and solemnly, nodded and didn't say anything more about it. I know that kind of thing changes a person - look at what happened to so many veterans upon their return from Vietnam - and I hope my brother comes back from this war unscathed, though I'm sure it's too late for that. Even if a person is killing someone else in self defense or under the pretense of war, the fact is, you're still killing someone. That must be weird to experience.

And I know everyone has their own opinion about this war - about whether we should be over there or not - and all I can say to that is, "Even if you disagree with the war, you have to support our troops." You can disagree with our reasons for being there, go ahead, you have that freedom, but you have to support or troops and be thankful to them for being in the military in the first place, and for protecting that very freedom that allows you to voice your opinion in the first place. When I see soldiers in uniform, at a bus stop or in the store, I shake their hand and thank them, and tell them that my brother is in the Army and I'm thankful for all the military has done/is doing, to keep me safe. Try it sometime. The next time you see a service man/woman, shake their hand and say, "Thank you." It will remind them why they're doing what they're doing, and it will remind you, too.

Work is going fine. And I'm still trying to work out going back to school. My life, my entire life, everything about it, is a work in progress. But whose isn't, right?

that was then - this is now