September 29, 2004

I'm paranoid. Scared. Insecure. Weary. Skeptical. Suspicious.

And I know that when I exhibit that behavior to you it makes you stressed, and feeling guilty when you have nothing to feel guilty about. But it's hard for me, it is, and I hope you can understand that. I hope you can have patience with me through this.

This rebuilding takes time, it doesn't happen overnight (Rome wasn't built in a day, you know), so sometimes I might still panic over something, until we settle back into a completely trustworthy relationship.

And after I spoke with you this morning I felt like crap for calling you about this, I STILL feel like a chump, and it's almost noon. But I had a fear so I had to voice it, because I would rather voice my fear and find it unfounded than tell myself I'm being a scaredy cat only to find out my fear was right all along. You know? Like, better safe than sorry.

that was then - this is now