June 28, 2004

The other night I went to my Mom's house (where my sister and her family are staying) and when my nephew Nick saw my car in the driveway, he came into the house calling for me. And then he came upstairs to where I was watching TV and he climbed up onto the couch with me.

And he sat there on my lap, leaning back into my arms, his little blond head against my chest, his short legs stretched out over mine, his small hands resting comfortably over mine, like I was an easy chair he was relaxing into. And it was one of the best moments of my life. Overwhelmed with love for him, I tilted my head down and kissed his soft head. He immediately turned his head so he was touching me and kissed me back.

That's when I realized that this world isn't about me. While I learned that awhile ago, I haven't always lived that. It's not about who you are but rather who you are to other people. A mother, a sister, an aunt, a wife, a daughter, a cousin, a friend. It's not about what people can do for you or what they can give you, it's about what you do for them and what you bring into their lives with your presence.

It wasn't about ME needing Nick, it was about Nick needing me, and the comfort I provided him by being there for him. An auntie easy chair to watch TV in. Someone to love him for who he is, to watch baseball on TV with him, to be there FOR HIM. It wasn't about Nick's auntie, it was about Nick. And that's what I'm learning in this big game of growing up.

I have to stop thinking of myself and start thinking about what I can do for others. About how I can give to others or make someone else's day better. To bring a smile to someone's face, to let them know they're loved. To spoil instead of be spoiled. Because that feels so much better than being the pretty little princess, it really does.

As Nick sat there on my lap, I was the one giving the love instead of taking it. And that's what love is about.

that was then - this is now