June 11, 2004

I try to tell myself, "Be strong, you'll get through this" and while that's a nice thought to have, it really does nothing to comfort me now. I'd like to be strong and "buck up, camper!" but I really can't. Not yet. It's too painful. And too raw. And too consuming for me to see beyond it at the moment. When I'm ready, I'll pull out of it, and I'll get through it and move beyond it. But now right now, and maybe not for a long, long time.

Because I love you so much.

that was then - this is now