May 11, 2004

Open your heart. Don't be afraid. If this is a self-preservation thing then stop worrying - I won't hurt you. All the fears you feel, I feel them, too, but all the love you feel, I'm feeling that, too. And everything that's wrong can be right again, if given the chance. Sometimes life needs to be mixed up a little in order to see what's really there; what needs to be fixed, what works just the way it is. Stop being afraid and start listening to your heart. When you climb into bed at night and your heart says to you, "Remember her?" just let the tears fall and say, "Yes, I do" and let it be okay to feel that. Let it be okay to invite me back into your life. It doesn't mean you're groveling or that you're the weak one or that you fucked up and I'm the nice one letting you come back. It doesn't mean any of that, so your pride is intact. It means that you love me. And I love you. And we vowed to be there for one another. By keeping that vow it only means that we were right to make that vow in the first place. It means that despite our differences and our faults or flaws, we find good in one another and we rely on one another for that love, for that support, for that understanding. We came together for a reason... just stop being afraid and let that reason shine through like a light through our darkness. Let our love be the one stronger than either of us, the one that sees all the problems and says, "I can handle this." And then let it. There is so much growing we can do together, so much we can help each other through. I believe there's so much more we are meant to experience together. Don't let it end here. Let it end somewhere much further down the road where we'll look back on this day and say, "Remember when we almost lost it all?" and then we'll squeeze each other's hands three times and smile, knowing that we were right all along, we just had to have enough faith.

that was then - this is now